It Is a Wise Child that Knows Who His Father Is

May 9, 2025

It may be one of the oldest and strongest presumptions in the Law, but it seems to be time for the Courts to wake up to the reality of modern living and the complicated interpersonal relationships we weave. There were, no doubt, good social reasons why, in the past, the Courts were protective of the apparent “legitimacy” of children. Being known as, and being called, a bastard had a much more devastating impact on a child than it would today. Now it is more of a general insult rather than a direct expression of a person’s parentage. However, it is becoming less and less accurate that all children born within the dates of a marriage, even while the spouses reside together, are the children of the husband. As more and more children are born to unmarried mothers, and to families whose living arrangements are more fluid than remaining living with the father of the children, it is becoming increasingly more important to acknowledge the biological ties than to turn a blind eye in favor of a legal fiction.

I came to an understanding of the real meaning of the phrase that is the title of this article when my youngest, now in his mid-thirties, was around twelve and I told him to do something. He challenged me with a response that asked why he should do so. My response was the ultimate parental answer, “Because I said so, and I am your father”. His quick response was, “That’s just what Mom tells you”. Suddenly, the phrase came to mind and I appreciated the full meaning. There are witnesses, usually, to the birth, so we know who the mother is, but, hopefully, no witnesses to the conception and continued exclusive sexual conduct to eliminate any possibility that someone other than the purported father is the biological parent.

Of course, it is important to not have the government, through the Courts, intrude into the family relationships and to impose something on a family that is functioning well and is intact. However, where all parties acknowledge the possibility/probability of someone other than the husband being the biological parent, there are good reasons to have that knowledge known and the resultant rights and responsibilities attend. Even where one or two of the parties is/are not in agreement, it can be very important to permit DNA testing to determine the biological parentage. If the spouses’ marriage is a matter of abuse and neglect, has a history of being “intact” with periods of volatility and separation, then the Courts should be permitted to “pierce the marriage contract veil” and permit the testing. As it stands now, the living together of the spouses is tantamount to completely precluding the alleged parent from asserting his rights.

The knowledge could have a devastating impact on a family that believes, or at least the husband believes, that the child or children are biologically the husbands. This is particularly true where the husband has developed over time a loving and bonded relationship with the child or children. We all need as many people as we can gather that actually love us and care about us, regardless of their biological connection to us, or lack thereof. As a loving stepfather, I believe that should not be compromised! However, there are several good reasons why the Commonwealth has an interest in getting to the reality of the situation.

The most obvious, of course, is the issue of genetically transmitted diseases and disorders. A child, and its parents, should be aware of all of the possible issues that may arise in childhood or adulthood. A proclivity or sensitivity to alcohol poisoning is one such issue, but there are disorders, susceptibility to certain diseases, or physical difficulties that can be passed through DNA to the child or to the child’s prodigy that may need to be monitored throughout the child’s life that should be known. Knowing the medical history of the birth parents can be instrumental in anticipating difficulties and resultant quick action can literally save lives. The Commonwealth has already acknowledged this as such an important issue that upon the conclusion of an adoption notice is required to be sent to the biological parent whose rights have been terminated to inform them that they may deposit such medical information with a registry of the State’s that can be made available to the adopted child. There is no reason why such should not be available for the children of all parents of whom the child may have little to no knowledge or ability to contact.

There have been inroads into this presumption, but they all require a non-intact family unit in the mother’s living situation. Given that Court civil records are available in most counties on-line, the use of initials in the captions of cases brought to establish the parentage should help to protect from prying eyes, particularly where it turns out that the father is the husband. A recent case has come down from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court regarding the obligations of a step-parent who has acted in the place of a parent, in loco parentis. In that case, the Court ruled that such step-parents can be required to pay support for the child or children. In the mid-1970's the Superior Court set precedent in permitting step-parents in such positions to have regular and Court-ordered contact with their stepchildren. The Court, by inference, is taking steps to reflect the reality of modern living and that the traditional mother-wife/father-husband model is not as commonly found as before and that responsibilities go along with rights. Here the Court would be acknowledging the responsibilities of the person who actually has an obligation to assist in the support of a child he helped to produce. All of this article has focused on the child and the family’s rights to not have intrusions into it that may cause it to dissolve. However, the biological father’s rights must also be a factor in the consideration of this issue. I have encountered fathers who, contrary to the stereotype, want to step up, meet their responsibilities, and have a life-long and bonded relationship with the child or children he has helped bring into this world. To ignore or dismiss his rights and feelings, as well as depriving the child of such a relationship, is not a recognition of reality, and abrogating his rights as a father.

There have been inroads into this presumption, but they all require a non-intact family unit in the mother’s living situation. Given that Court civil records are available in most counties on-line, the use of initials in the captions of cases brought to establish the parentage should help to protect from prying eyes, particularly where it turns out that the father is the husband. A recent case has come down from the Pennsylvania Supreme Court regarding the obligations of a step-parent who has acted in the place of a parent, in loco parentis. In that case, the Court ruled that such step-parents can be required to pay support for the child or children. In the mid-1970's the Superior Court set precedent in permitting step-parents in such positions to have regular and Court-ordered contact with their stepchildren. The Court, by inference, is taking steps to reflect the reality of modern living and that the traditional mother-wife/father-husband model is not as commonly found as before and that responsibilities go along with rights. Here the Court would be acknowledging the responsibilities of the person who actually has an obligation to assist in the support of a child he helped to produce. All of this article has focused on the child and the family’s rights to not have intrusions into it that may cause it to dissolve. However, the biological father’s rights must also be a factor in the consideration of this issue. I have encountered fathers who, contrary to the stereotype, want to step up, meet their responsibilities, and have a life-long and bonded relationship with the child or children he has helped bring into this world. To ignore or dismiss his rights and feelings, as well as depriving the child of such a relationship, is not a recognition of reality, and abrogating his rights as a father.

A man in a suit and tie is signing a document next to a judge 's gavel.

Third Party Custody Rights

May 9, 2025
There are several groups of people, other than parents who have an abiding interest and concern for children that have sought custodial time with the children. These include Grandparents, Step-parents, Aunts, Uncles, and siblings. The Pennsylvania Courts have acknowledged the rights of persons who have acted in loco parentis, or who have acted in place of a parent, as many step-parents have, the right to have contact, even primary physical custody of the child or children, whether or not they are related by blood or marriage to the children. However, although the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania has stated that there is no presumption of a preference for the parents of the child, as there can be no presumptions in custody cases since the standard is always what is in the “best interests” of the child, third parties have an increased burden when opposed to actual biological parents. The rights of step-parents have been recognized in Pennsylvania since 1977.
A young boy is sitting at a table counting coins.

Support Issues

May 9, 2025
There are several mechanisms for parents who have custody of their children to obtain some child support in Pennsylvania when the other parent is not voluntarily providing it. The most obvious is, of course, to file at the local Domestic Relations Office (DRO). If there is a Protection From Abuse petition filed, a request for an Order for temporary support can be presented, as well, in that action, but there is a requirement to file at DRO within ten (10) days of the entrance of the temporary order. The temporary amount will continue until DRO determines the appropriate amount. DRO is required to apply the Supreme Court’s guideline figures if the parents are unable to arrive at a figure they can both agree is appropriate. Those guidelines, required by Federal Law, are reviewed and changed every four (4) years and, on May 12, 2010, new guidelines were implemented. There have some important changes in the guidelines including the changing of the amounts of support required based on incomes. Essentially, the guidelines are a chart that puts the combination of both parents’ net incomes on the left side of the chart and the various amounts of money (Basic Support Obligation - BSO) deemed necessary to be contributed by both parents based on the number of children as columns beside the income ranges. Then the non-custodial parent’s obligation is a result of multiplying the amount for support on the chart indicated for the number of children and the joint net incomes by the percentage the non-custodial parent’s income is of the total joint net income.
A little girl is crying while her parents argue in the background.

Victims and Confidentiality

May 8, 2025
There clearly is a need for some victims of domestic violence to keep their current whereabouts confidential. Some abusers do not have any respect or concern about Court Orders when their emotional or financial interests are concerned. Confidentiality is an essential component of many victims' plans for safety and security. However, there are practical consequences that have an impact on the right of the opposing party to have safe and appropriate contact with the children of the parties or the need to be able to deliver legal papers to the victim in order to disentangle the parties from such things as titles to vehicles, divorce proceedings, and custody arrangements for the children.